Provoker

I had an altercation with a woman in a grocery store. Instead of respecting her space, I intentionally stood close to rile her up. It got to a point where a third party had to walk me away. As they did, I said something about her just loud enough for her to hear.

She wasn't any harm to me since there was distance, so I began to laugh about how ridiculous she was being. I went my way. She followed. I slowed my stroll to see how close she would come and how much more drama I could create. I glanced back and to my surprise she was on my heels. She had grown to an enormous size. Everybody around me had vanished. There was no buffer between us. I began running, scared. I jetted down flights of stairs in a single step. I needed to get away. Just as I was about to look back she grabbed me by the collar.

Then I woke up.

I've always recognized my tendency to create situations that could easily be avoided. This dream highlighted it. After my run in with her, it should have been over. But I felt the need to keep pushing. I antagonized her and made nothing into something. I kept stirring the pot, causing conflict, while pretending that I wasn't. The ol' - Who me? What did I do? - move. I wanted to feel powerful, better than. I made her frustration my pleasure, while trying to make her the punch line. It only stopped being a joke when it flipped on me.

The bully gets bullied.

I guess admittance acts as a catalyst for insight, insight a catalyst for change.

My practice of loving-kindness continues.

Thumbs Up,

Jimmy